Holding Patterns

On occasion events just rush by, flitting from start to finish, item to item. And then at other times they go.so.slowly. So many parts of our lives are seemingly on "hold" that I feel like the airliner circling the airport, waiting for clearance to land.

One thing that will land soon is the insurance question. The Insurance Committee meets tomorrow in Little Rock to discuss, among other things, whether they will approve coverage for my bariatric surgery. Linda has been on edge waiting for the decision and feels very strongly that they should approve me. I know there is only a possibility they will approve it...and a better chance for denial. I figure that if it is denied I will keep on losing pounds slowly as I have been doing, and keep getting some healthy guidance to guide my journey. Linda is afraid I will die before I reach my goal.

That's another thing that is holding...or rather I feel like it is. I am still losing weight, just not as quickly. Friday I went to the clinic and weighed on the same digital scales that I started out on at 420 pounds in May. It read 354. 66 pounds lost--Yay! I may be able to reach my goal of losing 120 pounds by the end of next May. Then I will be halfway to my long-range goal of 180 pounds. Yeah, I know. That's a pretty ambitious goal....But I know how I work without a goal...I don't.

So we are in a holding pattern in so many ways. Surgery insurance decision. Weight loss (still losing, but not as fast). Clothes.

Yes, clothes. I punched new holes in my old belts. (They still work that way). As I mentioned before, I have left my biggest clothes behind now and am working my way down through those that I wore briefly on the way up. So it is not quite like having new clothes...because they aren't. They are "new again," and, to be honest, some of them were worn very little on my way upscale. But wearing them again doesn't constitute a milestone of success emotionally. That will come when I can no longer wear ANY of the clothes I have now because they are too big, and I have to get NEW clothes. That's when the plane will have landed.

The church folk, too, seems to be in a holding pattern. They have made much progress in the past year. The congregation is more united, more willing to work together. Finances are up from last year's depressive year. Attendance is up. But the idea of embracing change and making the kinds of sweeping differences in goal-setting and behaviors that seem necessary is still "up-in-the-air." Change comes so slowly to the Church. We are addicted to holding patterns.

Tomorrow I return to the lymphodema doctor who has wrapped my calves in bandages to help keep them in a normal shape. We have two weeks of this swaddling to go on...then I will be fitted for permanent compression hose for my legs...custom made. In addition, the doctor is teaching Linda how to wrap my legs, and how to do the special massage that helps the protein fluid leave the legs. Linda is an apt pupil although she says she isn't. She is a great help, friend and companion. So this project, too, is in mid-journey, another holding pattern.

We have been waiting, too, for flu vaccine to become available. Today we got the call to come in tomorrow for our shots. Perhaps the progress on that front will help other things to shake loose as well.

I'll let you know tomorrow what we learn about the Insurance. And how the other landings go.

Maybe I just need a parachute.

How Quickly Summer Passes

So often I think about something to write and then go on to do something else. Then, when I'm ready to write, the "mood" is not there; the Muse has left the room. So, today, when the thought of blogging came across my mind, I decided to just do it. No earth-shaking thoughts to record, I decided I had gone long enough without tending to this blog child.

It has been a while since I posted. I have kept up with my food plan, and with my weight loss. I have not weighed in two weeks, but I can tell I am still on track. The last time I weighed I had lost a total of 65 pounds. I was wearing a size 66 pants and now am loosely in a 62 and flirting with a still uncomfortable 60. I can no longer wear the clothes I was wearing in May. So that's all to the good!

During the rush to trade in clunkers for cash we went to Little Rock to check out the "Car Wars" at War Memorial Stadium. Linda's car, a 1990 Lumina, had developed transmission problems and she was afraid to drive it. So we went to see if we could get cash for it on a trade-in on something better. We went to a tent staffed by Crain Hundai and test drove an Elanta. Very nice. Bells and whistles galore. And available to us for $350 a month (way over our budget). So we looked at other cars, and then the salesman came over with the bad news...our Lumina did not qualify for the Cash for Clunkers program. It had originally been rated at 20 mpg which was the cut-off line for the program.

So we left, sorta disappointed, but happy we had not gone into debt for another $23000. Linda really wanted something used, not new. She also wanted it to get better mileage and wanted it to be red. Yep. Red. So I laughed when the salesman called the next day with a 2007 Ford Focus with 14,000 miles on it. It was red. And we ended up getting it. Even though it did not have "Drive" the Lumina had 1st, 2nd, overdrive and reverse. So I drove it to LR in OD and we traded it in.

Linda has been very happy with her new wheels, and is getting out and about on her own more than she has in a long time. This is, of course, a big help to her ego and to my spirits, too.

She also qualified for her Social Security disability status, so she will now have some monthly income of her own and can make her own car payment. All to the good.

Weight loss--I tend to overestimate how much I have lost, but I feel I am close to the 350 pound mark. I have applied to our insurance group for coverage for lap-band surgery. They will meet September 23rd to discuss my case (among others). IF they approve the coverage, then we will need to begin the process with the surgeon, find the money for the co-pay, and try to schedule around my various commitments so I am not having surgery during Christmas, NSN events, etc.

And speaking of NSN (National Storytelling Network), Linda and I are planning to attend the National Storytelling Festival the first weekend in October in Jonesborough, Tennessee. There is a 3-day NSN Board meeting following, so it will be a week away in the Smoky Mountains of Eastern Tennessee for us. We are looking forward to the trip, if not the expense of it. Linda and I both told at the Arkansas Storytelling Festival in Little Rock last month, and had fun doing it.

It is too bad that we will not have time to drive up to Boston to see our Laura, Kyle, and Abby who just passed the 9-month mark in her life. They keep us updated pretty well with photos, videos, and blogs. We are looking forward to seeing them again at Christmas!

When I started this I wasn't sure where it was going. If a trooper was following it I wouldn't have been surprised to have been pulled over for wandering all over the place. But I'm happy to have made this entry. I'll do more. It's good to have the Muse back in the building!